Monday, December 29, 2008

Easy Americano in three steps and a photo contest...

Becoming an American Citizen in three easy steps

1. Get born into a legitimate qualifying situation (ie, to a genuine American mommy),
2. Have your legitimately American, born on American soil, mommy take you to the US Embassy to register you,
3. Have your mommy argue with the US Embassy Agent for an hour about how the things they are asking you for don't make any sense, then leave empty handed to return another day.

See – isn't that easy?! And what is it that mommy argued about? Well, my understanding of US law is that if I am a citizen, born on American soil, then my children have the right to citizenship. Period. So I went to the embassy with my passport and Radar's Bahamian birth certificate in hand. I filled in all the paperwork and all seemed to be in order until the agent asked me for my W2's or school records to show that I was a resident in the US for at least one year. The conversation continued like so...

Me: “I don't have those with me. Why do I need them? I am a US citizen born in the US, so my son is entitled to his citizenship, right?”

Agent: “Yes ma'am. But you need to show proof of residency for one year. Any year.”

Me: “Ok, like I said, I don't have that with me, but why do I have to show proof of residency if my son is entitled to citizenship?”

Agent: “Because those are the requirements. Don't you have your school records?”

Me: “I've been out of school for 20 years – I don't carry those around with me. But again, you said that my son has the right to be a citizen, so why does it matter if I was a resident 20 years ago?”

Agent: “Were you?”

Me: “Yes, for 36 years.”

I proceeded to show her my Florida Driver's license, voter registration and the US stamps in my US passport. But all to no avail. So now I've got my mom digging through old tax records to find some old W2s that she can Fedex over to me.

The only other thing that I forgot to take were two passport photos of Radar (with his eyes open). So when I got home I took a bunch of pictures that I'll crop down to passport photo size and hopefully we'll have all this sorted out by next week! In short – Radar is now a legitimate person with no citizenship!

Name this Photo

During our photo shoot, I got this picture which is now my new favorite. A few things ran through my mind as a theme for the picture, but instead I thought I'd throw it out there as a “name that photo” contest. The best photo name will win the priceless prize of global recognition on this blog!! Who could ask for more... so good luck...

Titi and Radar

PS - Thank you Jenna, Laura, Tara, Vivi, Angela, Lori and all the other experienced moms who gave suggestions for Radar's gas pains. I'm going to get the ok from Radar's doctor and then try them one by one to see if we have any luck. Or as some of you have suggested, it might just be his immature gi tract and time might be the only solution. I'll keep you posted on the ongoing saga of Radar and his gassiness!


Jenna said...

"I am Radar, hear me ROAR!!!!

I love the photo! Radar is a beautiful little guy

Anonymous said...

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout..."

The Science Pundit said...

"What just happened to the jar of pickles I was about to put in my mouth?"

Anonymous said...

Mom I'm going to get you,I'm hungry!!!!!!

Dardo said...

This sounds remarkably like Tia Sara's story about naturalizing Carlo or Marco (I forget which) at the US Embassy in Italy.

If I remember it correctly, they needed her marriage certificate. After a few second of thinking "Oh no, where the hell is my marriage certificate?" she came to a realization, and told the Embassy clerk, "I don't have to be married for my child to be naturalized."

"That's right" the clerk said.

"If I were an unmarried woman, and had no clue who the father was or what his nationality was, my child would still have the right to US citizenship by merit of my citizenship?"

"That's right" the clerk said.

"Then why do you need my marriage certificate!?"

It's good to see that US naturalization bureaucracy has not lost it charm in those nearly 40 years.

Names for photo: "Raaaawr!!!" "Invisible wrestling opponent in a half nelson."

Tia Sara said...

I'm not going to say I told you so because I'm bigger than that. Yes, petty bureaucrats are so..... pettily bureaucratic!!! Pancho has his own stories of getting his kids 'inscribed'(that is a literal translation) in the US embassy in Venezuela. Good Luck
Tia Sara

TaraMac said...


(This was one of the nicknames we gave Ian, my first Cranky baby) :)

TaraMac said...

BTW...I hope time is not your answer!! I hope something works...and soon!

Anonymous said...

Photo Contest ... -Mommy I know sign language - or - I think its coming at me. I'm going to hit it, wait thats my hand.

Anonymous said...

Photo Contest- I'm down wit dat. You know Ma. Let go back to my crib.

Anonymous said...

Photo Contest - Where's the Boob?

Channel Swimmer said...

You take my foreskin? Now I eat your brain! - Sneakers

Lali said...

He he! Radar is adorable! I can't think of anything original after reading everyone else's title.. how about
"Yo, I the cutest human puppy ever, woof"

The title doesn't make any sense but I do recall that I referred to Radar as a "human puppy" when speaking to Fanny about acceptance. (Which totally makes sense)

Love, Lali

Anonymous said...

Omigosh...How comw nobody stated the obvious: OOObama, OOObama?