You and I go way back, and I’m hoping that despite all of the differences we’ve had in the past, we can make our upcoming reunions happy ones – or at the very least, I’m hoping that we can treat each other with mutual respect.
If you’ll remember, the last time we were together, you took advantage of our patience and disregarded most of our needs and priorities. Our top priority is always safety and we are very grateful that you got us home in one piece. There is however, much room for improvement.
I know that you enjoy our company on airplanes, but when you dragged our 2 hour flight from Philadelphia to Atlanta into a 6 hour saga with a refueling stop in South Carolina, I think perhaps you forgot that one of us was a 9 month old who isn’t accustomed to such long stretches confined to a small window seat in coach.
I also felt that your unilateral decision to allow our connecting flight to take off without us, thereby leaving us in Atlanta for the night, was not the most courteous gesture. And then placing the blame on Mother Nature, rather than the airline, so that we received no assistance in locating a hotel or financial compensation for the night was a bit of salt in the wound. Oh, and since our luggage was checked through, I had to wash my underwear in the sink at the hotel… nice touch! Might I remind you that this is the same trip where you lost our luggage on the way and on which you charged us a $120 surcharge for a “lap child” because you said it was a new airline policy for international flights. Was all that really necessary?
But we are not vindictive and ask you to please accept this as constructive criticism rather than a complaint. I am very happy to overlook all of your past discretions… all of the delays and surcharges and cancelled flights and lost luggage and rude attendants and stinky or broken bathrooms and lack of food and huge lines and marathon distances between connecting gates. We’ll be spending plenty of time together this month and I want us both to have a happy December. I hope that in the spirit of these upcoming holidays you can find it in your heart to grant us this wish.
So let’s get started today. Our flight to DC is scheduled to take off at noon. We look forward to a fresh start and a long, mutually respectful relationship going forward.
Titi and Radar
PS – If you speak with Mother Nature, can you please thank her for sending me my period just in time for this trip - always more fun that way!!!!
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