So, it's just two days until Christmas. The night before Noche Buena. So naturally I'm going to blog with the season, right?
Absolutely not. I think instead I'll blog about a story that hit me out of the blue today when Radar was playing with his blue rubber ducky. Some of you already know the story - but what the hey... it's a Pazos trait to retell stories even when everyone in the room shouts, "yes, we've heard it before!"
This one goes back to when I was about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant with Radar. Just about any lady who's ever been pregnant can tell you that pregnancy causes weird dreams - all the hormones I guess. Well, I was going up to visit Grammy in Maine and spent the night in a hotel after a late flight into Portland. Having lost my first baby Bennett to trisomy 18, I guess I also had plenty of worry weighing on my mind in those early weeks. Then I settled in for my slumber...
The first thing I remember were the contractions. But I was only halfway through my pregnancy. Babies can't survive at that early gestation. I remember crying hysterically and begging the doctors to find a way to stop the contractions. They had me hooked up to tubes and were administering IV meds to try to stop them, but they only kept getting stronger. I was sobbing and begging for this not to be happening. The agony was so real. And then real labor started and there was no stopping it.
I remember how it dragged on for what seemed an eternity. It was one of those dreams that you try to wake from and can't. I was trying to hold back, but I couldn't and after an emotionally agonizing labor, I felt the birth and my spirit was totally defeated. I knew that I had lost yet another baby.
And then I heard it... a QUACK. One of the doctors held my child up and said with cheery pride, "It's a duck! I full sized, healthy duck!" And there it was... a mallard, I think! I was flabbergasted and pissed. All I could think was that the cryobank had ripped me off and given me duck sperm! Then I was horrified because I imagined what people would think... they would think that I'd been sleeping with a duck!!! I guess I'm just not someone who counts her blessings enough, because never once in that dream was I relieved that my baby was healthy.
And that is my out of the blue story... I'll see if I can't get back on the Christmas track for tomorrow's post.
And in case some of you don't get a chance to check back, we wish you and your families (ducks included) a healthy and joyous Christmas!!!
Lots of love,
Titi and Radar