Sunday, May 2, 2010

Too creepy to kill

I don't get it. I totally understand why someone might be too afraid to get close enough to a rattling snake to kill it. Or even a scorpion or a spider that one thought might just be poisonous...

... what I don't get is why something that can't possibly harm me causes me to recoil with such absolute freaked out panic?

When I came downstairs today, this is what was awaiting me on the pass through to the kitchen - he quickly made his way onto the back of Radar's high chair...

I'd show you a closer shot, except that I was way too freaked out to get closer than 10 feet... I mean this baby has wings and he was using them... (a chill just ran through me remembering it).

I called my mom in a panic to tell her that Radar and I would be evacuating the house. In the time it took me to make the phone call, I lost sight of the vile thing. This only made matters much, much worse because I started feeling things crawling on my neck and had startling visions of a horrible cockroach flying around and landing on my nose.

Luckily, moments later Fanny called my attention to the wicked entity that was now crawling up my wall toward the stairs. But the worst part of all this is that I'm too freaked out to even kill a cockroach. In the past I've thrown shoes across the room with little success... my tried and true favorite is to use one of those powerful poison sprays and unload nearly a whole bottle on the creep from the furthest distance possible.

But I don't keep poison in the house now. This one would have to be done by hand!!! The horrid bug then made things a little easier on me. He crawled under the carpeting on one of the stairs where there was a gap... I took a book and started smashing the whole step through the carpeting. It's thick carpeting so I didn't have to hear or feel that totally creepy popping. To make sure I'd gotten him, I then unloaded about half a bottle of carpet cleaner into the gap... It's not a toxic cleaner, but I figured if he was already injured, he'd drown in it.

Job well done! Did I care that there would be a dead roach under the stair carpeting for all of eternity? Absolutely not! I didn't have to see it. I called my mom to pronounce my success... or at least my 99% certainty of success.

Fast forward to 1pm...

AHHH!!! Yes, that's right... I even scream at dead roaches. But the point is, he shouldn't have been able to crawl out of his drenched, beaten hole and crawl all the way across the room to die in plain sight! That meant I had to pick him up and I'm even way too creeped out to clean up a dead roach.

But then I noticed that Radar had noticed the roach and my motherly instinct kicked in. The last thing I wanted was for Radar to grab it and stick it in his mouth!!! (I feel some serious nightmares coming on tonight).

So I grabbed Radar and ran to the kitchen... I took 4 paper towels and wet them a little (thinking that a dead roach could more easily slip out of a dry towel). I dropped the damp towels on top of the dreadful body and...

"EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!"

Radar startled in my arms (from my scream... not from the roach that was now wriggling underneath the paper towels). Fanny went for the motion and in a moment of panic I stomped.

"POP!"

Oh God that's creepy! (Hairs standing up on my arms!)

It took four more very wet and soapy paper towels and a kitchen rubber glove for me to be able to clean up the now decidedly dead roach...

But it left me once again wondering why I react this way every time? How can something be just too creepy to kill?

Lots of yick,
Titi and Radar

6 comments:

littleharves said...

that is just too funny, too too too funny, didn't you know roaches could survive a nuclear blast, the end of the world! as if carpet, a foot and some fluid was ever going to kill one. and paper towel? that pop is just a noise it makes with its mouth to trick people, have you looked behind the sofa ............................. a ha ha ha ha aggghhhhh ( evil laugh )

Lali said...

So, a couple of years ago, when Mulligan was living with me, some of his food fell behind a table into a corner. The litter box was in that corner and when I pulled it out to clean the area I noticed that a cat food bowl was on the ground. It was a small one and I used several so it didn't phase me. I went to go grab it and underneath was the cat food, COVERED in maggots. I was instantly super super super disgusted and screamed my head off. I went and put on long pants, serious shoes, long sleeved shirt, rubber gloves and a shower cap. Eduardo was in his room or watching TV at the time. I remember screaming at him very loudly. I made him clean out up the maggot covered cat food and then made him help me clean the entire apartment. Serious serious cleaning. Then I was thinking about, why would I put a shower cap on? Turns out that when I was super little I left my ballerina brush in my Easter basket for a week or so when we were on vacation. The whole trip, I talked about how sad I was that I left my brush and the moment we got home I ran to the brush and started brushing my hair. I looked at the brush and it was covered in maggots. Very traumatizing...

The point of this is, do you have a childhood traumatizing experience with roaches? Roaches are gross but they don't bother me much... maggots on the other hand.. eeeekkkk!

Love,
Tia Lali

ANGELA.,,,,,, SCARE said...

I;M THE SAME WAY OF TITI,, I HATE THIS CRIPPY,, cucarachas, jajaja. call the Orkins, or some companys in bahamas clean the apt, and vacuum everytime, the baby eat/\.. good luck,

LA CUCARACHA
LA CUCARACHA
YA NO PUEDE CAMINAR
PORQUE LE FALTA
PORQUE LE FALTA
LAS 2 PATITAS DE ATRAS, HAHAHAHA

Radar's Mom said...

Ok, so I'm totally creeped out by the maggot story... and although I don't think I have any specific traumatic early childhood maggot memories, I think I would still wear the shower cap! In fact, I wanted to put on a shower cap just from reading your comment. I think I need to get some of those bio-hazard suits for situations like these...

Oh, and my mom says that studies have shown that chimps are instinctively creeped out by roaches. Her theory is that it dates back to prehistoric times when bugs were gigantic and mammals were small... she theorizes that it's part of our dna to be scared of bugs because our very early ancestors were eaten by them. (This, by the way, is a theory supported by virtually no fact, but fueled by a similar creeped out fear of roaches)!

Marco said...

I have no problem disposing of copperhead snakes when they find their way into the garage or workshop or into the folks yard. Spiders are trapped and released back into the wild. But roaches creep the me the heck out. I try to have Frank kill them. What surprises me is that my first instint upon seeing a mouse is to scream "eek" and jump on a chair. Its straight out of a cartoon.

Tia Sara said...

Wow! You live in the Bahamas and used to live in Florida... talk about favorable roach habitats. One of my memories from the year I lived in Miami as a kid was of the 'Palmetto Bugs' (think 3 inch roaches) and how you could hear them crunch under the tires when going down the road. Here in Maryland now we are having an infestation of stink bugs. I'm not sure what their scientific name is but they are these triangular prehistoric looking insects that have to be caught by hand and drowned because if you squish them they stink to hight heaven (hence the name). Heather has this method where she fills a glass with white vinegar and when she sees a bug, she takes the glass and flicks the bug into it with the edge of the glass. It looks kind of gross after several have been caught, but it contains the odor and you do not have to handle the bugs. Maybe we can patent it.